As Luck Would Have ItPosted: April 13, 2011
Hi, friends! I hope your day is going well! Mine started out with a winning combination: weights and cereal 😀 I’m ready to plow through this day so I can see the weekend on the horizon!
People always tell Cory and I that we are so lucky to be in a successful relationship. The truth is that we’re “lucky” to have met each other when we did, but we’re not “lucky” to be in this relationship. We’ve worked together to make it successful.
There are so many contributing factors that make a successful relationship, and I think many relationships don’t succeed because the people in them think it’s supposed to be easy all time and that everything comes naturally. Is there anyone reading this who is either married or in long-term relationship that can back me up on this one? 😉
I know relationships are an important part of life, so here are some tips on having a healthy, successful relatipnship
- Communicate In my opinion, this is the most important thing you can do for your relationship. Try as he might, he cannot read your mind. If you spent all day working in the yard or hours prepping for a full meal and you want him to notice – TELL HIM you want him to notice your hard work. If you need alone time to make yourself happy, discuss it; don’t just “take a day to be alone” without telling her that’s what you need. She’ll think she did something wrong.
- Laugh If your partner doesn’t make you laugh, start packing your bags. Last night, I was literally on the floor with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard because Cory was being silly. It’s moments like those that make a relationship great. I mean, if you can’t laugh – what’s the point?
- Learn how to argue A knock a knock down, drag out, bring-up-something-from-two-years-ago fight (we’ve all be there there) is not the way to solve anything. I think people need to stop being afraid to argue with their partner. Disagreeing and not seeing eye-to-eye all the time are apart of life. Knowing how to do so effectively is key. Try using “I” statements (think: “I feel this way”) rather than “you” statements (think: “You pissed me off”) and avoiding words like “always” and “never” (think: “You never put the toilet seat down.” Really, he’s never remembered once?)
- Get with the times It’s not 1950 anymore, ladies. It’s okay to take your manfriend on a date. It’s okay to pursue a man. You cannot wait around for a relationship without putting in any effort. I understand wanting to be sought after and “courted” if you will, but just know that it’s okay to go after someone that you want.
- Find a common hobby Obviously you have things in common because you’re together, but learning new things together or sharing common goals is healthy. For instance, we all know how I feel about running, but it’s something Cory really enjoys – so we run races together. But it’s also important to have your own separate hobbies as well (hello, blogging!)
- Don’t stop flirting After a couple of years (or months) two people get comfortable with each other and the “chase” usually ends. But the “chase” is the fun part! A simple wink across the room, a random text message or a compliment on how nice your partner looks goes a long way.
So as luck would have it, I met a cute boy at a frat party my first weekend of college. As hard work and dedication would have it, that cute boy is going to be my husband.
These things work for us – what has worked in your current or past relationships ?