Why Does Misery Love Company?

Hello, my fine friends! How’s everyone feeling today?! I’m feeling a tad bit sluggish due to my inhalation of a piece of white chocolate – raspberry cheesecake last night at The Cheesecake Factory.

Cory and I shared this ginormous slice of heaven (minus the whipped cream.)

Do I feel guilty? Yes, I kind of do. Am I going to fret all day? No – I’m just going to do my best to make healthier decisions today. Easy peasy, lemon squeezey πŸ™‚

This morning I enjoyed a sweaty P90X plyometrics session which was swiftly followed up by my beloved cereal combo πŸ™‚

Quaker oatmeal squares, Honey Nut Cheerios, Kashi Crisp!, almond slivers and 1/2 a banana

—-

Okay, so now let’s get into the stuff behind this post’s title.

We all know the saying Misery Loves Company, right?

Source

I mean, I get it – kind of. If I’m feeling down in the dumps, I don’t necessarily want to throw you a party to celebrate something happy in your life.

I’d rather bitch and moan with a friend who likes vodka.

But those feelings are normally momentary – not a way of life. AndΒ let’s be honest; I’d still throw you a party if you deserved one πŸ˜‰

Anyway, Cory and I were talking yesterday about how we’ve noticed that some people are so quick to rain on a love parade (or any kind of parade, really.)

Here’s an example of a conversation that happened a few days ago:

Me: Yeah, we’re finally going to move in together after the wedding (insert giddy grin here) I’m so excited!

*Debby D: Wait – you’ve never lived together?!

Me: Nope. We wanted to wait.

Debby D: Woah. Psh.Β Humpf.(Cue more huffing and puffing) Get ready for the most difficult year of your life!

Me: Wow, thanks Debby. You’re quite the ray of sunshine. (<— Okay, this part happened in my head)

*Names may have been changed to protect the identity of a real life sour-puss.

Why are people like this?

Are they really that miserable?Β 

I truly hope not, because that would be tragic – but it’s disappointing how people so rarely want to tell you something positive.Β If someone is happy, why on Earth would another person feel the need to say something negative? This totally blows my mind.

I don’t have a profound conclusion to this thought (do I ever?) – but I wanted to get it out there. Maybe other people have experienced people like Debby D? Β 

Disclaimer: Let’s get real – encountering a Debby or Nancy doesn’t truly affect me, but it does make me wonder: WTF?

If you have any thoughts whatsoever on this subject, please share!Β If not, thanks for reading my vent-session πŸ˜‰

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33 Comments on “Why Does Misery Love Company?”

  1. Kristi says:

    I love The Cheesecake Factory. I only go threre once a year though…. it’s such an indulgence.
    I hate being around debbie downers or negative nancy’s. I don’t want to be surrounded by negativity so really I try to stay away from those types of people.

  2. Cait says:

    omg i LOVE cheesecake factory aka their cheesecake! everyone hates being a debby downer girl- or at least i hope so ha. i have a friend whose a debby downer 24/7 and its hard to be friends since all she does is complain about EVERYTHING. just put a big smile on your face and say ‘life tough get a helmet’ πŸ˜‰ xo

  3. Debbie DOwners are no fun. And we didn’t live together before we got married. It was more fun that way. We’re still getting over our annoying quirks, but well.. isn’t that just part of marriage?

  4. I HATE DEBBIE DOWNERS!! My best friend is one a lot of the time- i have to whip her into shape cuz otherwise shell bring me down with her!

  5. I don’t get why someone would be so hellbent on trying to make you worry! Silly Debbie Ds! (Also, good luck with moving in with your soon-to-be hubby after the wedding! I’m sure you’ll have a blast!)

  6. Val says:

    First of all that cheesecake looks amazing!! And I ve encounters debbies too and while I try not to let it affect me sometimes its hard to not that that comment to heart! I think its great you guys are going to be moving in together!! I’m excited for you. While I’m currently living with my boyfriend and we are not married, it was NOT the most miserable year of my life. I was super excited to live together and I think because of that it was great. I hope you are just as excited and that your positive attitude makes it an awesome first year!!!!

  7. I admit; I let Debby D’s affect me more than I should! Whether it’s pessimism towards me or just their overall outlook on life, it drives me nuts. I just want to grab them by their shoulders, shake them, and say “LIFE ISN’T SO BAD!!! IT’S NOT!!!” haha. (well, granted they didn’t just like, lose a loved one or something…I’m talking strictly people that have no reason to be so negative. Major life crisis’s warrant being down.)

  8. dressed2dish says:

    Okay first off…that cheesecake looks heavenly!! Secondly, I definitely have known a few Debbies and Nancies in my life…and yes I agree WTF is with them? But I am so excited for you guys! Living together is amazing, fun, and hard work all at the same time…but it’s totally worth it πŸ™‚ It looks like you guys had so much fun celebrating Cory’s birthday…that salad bar looked amaaazing! You guys are so cute together and we def need a double date once we return!! πŸ™‚

  9. I am on board with your choice! My boyfriend and I have talked the big talk and if we do indeed get married, we will not live together before hand. In this day and age people don’t respect marriage like they used to, so hey in my opinion don’t do it the way people are doing it now and you’re already off to a better start!
    I also have hear numerous times that the divorce rate is much higher for people that have lived together before marriage. Want to know my thoughts on why this is? Well because people think things will be different after marriage and when not much changes (due to already living together) things get weird. Well, if you don’t live together before you get married (IMO) marriage is a change and you have to adjust and you can more easily recognize that a lot of sacrifices are being made and changes are happening.
    Anyways, Debbie D’s are no fun and should be avoided at all costs.
    You are a great girl, and I would love to vent over vodka with you.
    Don’t let it get you down!

  10. Stefanie says:

    Colleen,

    I tend to subscribe to the misery loves company idea as well… and while it does not bother me when people say negative things to me, I have always marveled that people who are negative by nature seem to flock together and almost seem repulsed by those who are positive. It’s like a never ending cycle…and if I spend too much time with people like that I find myself trying to downplay who I am to try to get on their level. The truth is I have learned that these types of friends are ones you can only keep at an arms distance.

    LOVE that cheesecake, don’t feel guilty, if you deprive yourself then you’ll become angry.

  11. applesnoats says:

    ok first,that cheesecake definitley looks like it was worth it! Secondly, i think you and cory are going to have an awesome.take that debby d

  12. First of all I think it’s great that you waited. If that’s what you wanted it’s no ones business to say it’s a good or bad idea. As for as negative people, I’ll admit to being one of those people in my past. When I used to be struggling with an issue, big or small, I handled it so poorly I couldn’t see past myself to other people’s happiness. It would also get on my nerves that anyone would think to bring up things without realizing what a different place I was in. Well, tha was a miserable time for probably both me and them! When I’m in a bad mood I still do love the occasional rant sesh, but actually hearing about the positive things in people’s life makes me happier. Being negative for the sake of being negative is just such a waste of breathe

  13. I agree-I have a few friends like that, that it seems like no matter what I say they find some sort of obnoxious snide comment right back.

  14. I used to be of the Debby D mindset, and my best friend in college was too. Needless to say, I’m a happier person these days without her “friendship” in my life. It was almost as if she tried to bring me down whenever I was happy – it wasn’t a good thing!

  15. Ugh, I’m sorry about that downer comment. I don’t plan on moving in with a bf, until we are married, or at least engaged. Don’t let people bring you down, girl!

  16. OMG I get so annoyed with Debbie Downers! I try my very best to be upbeat and happy when I’m around people because I don’t believe in bringing someone down with me if I am sad or upset, so it really agitates me when people are like that. My mom and I were talking about something similar this morning, and we decided that we can’t control people and how they communicate and respond to things, but we can control ourselves – thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc. I try to rmb that thought whenever I come across a DD or Negative Nancy – just let it go because you can’t change that person, but you can walk away still staying true to yourself. Have a GREAT day!!!

  17. Don’t feel guilty for cheesecake! Indulgences like that are meant to be enjoyed to the fullest πŸ™‚ Oh, and for the record, I think it’s awesome that you decided to wait until you’re married to move in together. You rarely hear people doing that these days, and I think it’s great!

    As for Debbie D’s… they tend to get to me a lot and if I’m not careful, they’ll drag me down with them. Just have to keep in mind that they’re probably being downers because they’re unhappy themselves, and it has nothing to do with you. I mean, happy people never have anything bad to say to others. But unhappy people? Yeah… misery definitely loves company.

  18. wnk505 says:

    I just love when people throw low blows when your trying to be positive. I try to look at the situation as best as possible. Everyone is different who knows what will happen.

    Good luck!

  19. Don’t even worry about it! Some people just love to rain on other people’s parades. Just because someone had a bad experience doesn’t mean you will. If you guys get along really well and click like you seem to, I’m sure you’ll be fine!

  20. NatureMama says:

    I hate Debbie Downers, too. Don’t listen to her. My first year living with my husband was wonderful–we had so much fun.

  21. Gah, Debbie Downers are the worst! In my opinion, seeing others happy makes ME happy – so I think that HAPPINESS loves company! Unforuntately, I have come across many who feel the opposite – and I think the same thing, WTF?

    Anyway, have a great day love! πŸ™‚

  22. Chris and I have lived together for 3 years out of the 3.5 years we have been dating and I think the fun of it is learning all the new (and sometimes annoying) habits of the other person!

    Dont let anyone get to you and try to make you feel nervous or doubtful about your decisions. You will have a great time learning all the great things you thought you knew after the wedding!

  23. Katy says:

    I have to say the most successful couple my age (they have been together for 11 years, and married for almost 7)didn’t move in together until they were married. And they are the healthiest/happiest married couple I know. (My age at least.) So do what’s best for you!

  24. Kaila @healthyhelperblog! says:

    Heather from Hangry Pants has a great name for those type of people: Flower cutters. They cut you down and dig at you to make themselves feel better. Don’t let people like that bother you…they have their own insecurities and negativity and they just feel the need to project it on to other people! You two moving in together will be the happiest moment of your life. All that love under one roof will just be fantastic!

  25. Michelle says:

    Ugh, I’m annoyed for you. She needs to get a grip and learn to shut her mouth. I’m excited for you and the man to move in together and start your new life! It’s going to be soooooo exciting!

  26. I just went to The Cheesecake Factory for the first time this weekend! I didn’t get any cheesecake, though 😦

  27. Brittany says:

    I’ve been wanting to go to the Cheesecake factory, i’ve only heard great things about it! And as far as debby downers go, ugggh. they SUCK. and i do not like them! I’m so excited for your big day! As far as living together, i decided a LONG time ago that i didn’t want to do that until we were married! So that’s how i feel about that! xoxo


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