Why Does Misery Love Company?

Hello, my fine friends! How’s everyone feeling today?! I’m feeling a tad bit sluggish due to my inhalation of a piece of white chocolate – raspberry cheesecake last night at The Cheesecake Factory.

Cory and I shared this ginormous slice of heaven (minus the whipped cream.)

Do I feel guilty? Yes, I kind of do. Am I going to fret all day? No – I’m just going to do my best to make healthier decisions today. Easy peasy, lemon squeezey 🙂

This morning I enjoyed a sweaty P90X plyometrics session which was swiftly followed up by my beloved cereal combo 🙂

Quaker oatmeal squares, Honey Nut Cheerios, Kashi Crisp!, almond slivers and 1/2 a banana

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Okay, so now let’s get into the stuff behind this post’s title.

We all know the saying Misery Loves Company, right?

Source

I mean, I get it – kind of. If I’m feeling down in the dumps, I don’t necessarily want to throw you a party to celebrate something happy in your life.

I’d rather bitch and moan with a friend who likes vodka.

But those feelings are normally momentary – not a way of life. And let’s be honest; I’d still throw you a party if you deserved one 😉

Anyway, Cory and I were talking yesterday about how we’ve noticed that some people are so quick to rain on a love parade (or any kind of parade, really.)

Here’s an example of a conversation that happened a few days ago:

Me: Yeah, we’re finally going to move in together after the wedding (insert giddy grin here) I’m so excited!

*Debby D: Wait – you’ve never lived together?!

Me: Nope. We wanted to wait.

Debby D: Woah. Psh. Humpf.(Cue more huffing and puffing) Get ready for the most difficult year of your life!

Me: Wow, thanks Debby. You’re quite the ray of sunshine. (<— Okay, this part happened in my head)

*Names may have been changed to protect the identity of a real life sour-puss.

Why are people like this?

Are they really that miserable? 

I truly hope not, because that would be tragic – but it’s disappointing how people so rarely want to tell you something positive. If someone is happy, why on Earth would another person feel the need to say something negative? This totally blows my mind.

I don’t have a profound conclusion to this thought (do I ever?) – but I wanted to get it out there. Maybe other people have experienced people like Debby D?  

Disclaimer: Let’s get real – encountering a Debby or Nancy doesn’t truly affect me, but it does make me wonder: WTF?

If you have any thoughts whatsoever on this subject, please share! If not, thanks for reading my vent-session 😉


The Golden Rule

Good morning, friends! I have something to get off my chest. I hope you don’t mind.

We all know the The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you’d want to be treated. It is so simple, yet I find so many people (oftentimes myself included) have such trouble following it.

Let me tell you a (wordy) story. I hope you read along.

It was homecoming of my Senior year in high school. I was dressed up and having a fabulous time with my boyfriend and friends. I felt on top of the world.

Towards the end of the night, my girlfriends and I noticed a boy standing alone. He was dressed in a suit and bopping along to the music, but he looked like he felt out of place. He also happened to have Down Syndrome.

My heart melted when I saw him and I immediately said to my friends, “Let’s ask him to dance!” I was shocked when all of my friends laughed and breathed a collective “No way”

I remember being in that moment and knowing I had a decision to make. I could either take the comfortable route and go along with my friends, or step outside the group in order to make someone else feel good. My friends whispered as I made my way over to the boy, introduced myself and asked him to dance. I cannot explain the wonderful smile on his face or how happy I felt dancing with him.

That boy’s name was JD and he became my friend. He visited my locker every morning for the rest of the school year and we talked on the phone when I was home on breaks from college. He helped introduce me to the Special Olympics, and I even coached his basketball team. He was great.

If I had let other people’s opinions control my own, I probably would have passed JD by without a second thought that night. But sometimes, it benefits us to think about how others might feel. Maybe someone isn’t part of the “in” group and you are. Would it kill you to make him or her feel included? Probably not. You might even gain something out of it.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not a saint. Quite far from it. I am privy to passing judgement and gossiping – both of which are terrible habits that I try to avoid at all costs. They make me feel ugly because well, they are ugly.

I’m writing this post because at some point everyone, no matter her age, appearance or ability, will feel left out. I’ve been on both sides, and I know that being on the outside hurts. But I can’t decide if it sucks more to be the part of the “in” group because of how ugly it feels (and looks) to consciously make some else feel not included.

So really – just treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s much easier than being rude, mean and ugly.